Fatigue, Medical Bills & Book Club

My fatigue is coming back pretty bad this week. It’s hard to get stuff done that I want to get done. I’m only able to do things it seems like every other day. I’ve been trying to get my front flower bed planted but it’s taking a lot longer than I had planned to get it done because I have to have a recovery day after I work on it. It’s also affecting the other stuff I need to get done. Like chores around the house. I hate it. I wish it was possible to just recharge myself like you do a battery 🙁

I don’t know if the fatigue is because I’m going into a flare, or I’m coming out of one, or if it’s happening just because. The only thing I can really do is wait and see what happens with my symptoms over the next week or so. I could also just be over doing it. But it sucks to think that. I never really had to ever worry about over doing it for the day until recently. At 25, I shouldn’t have to be worrying about stuff like that. I shouldn’t have to be worrying about any of this shit. Life can be so fucking unfair sometimes.

I added up my medical bills that I’ve paid so far this year and I died a little inside. I didn’t realize that it was that much 🙁 And I still have several hundred dollars worth that still need paid. Then there’s all the doctors appointments and procedures that I haven’t had yet. I also don’t know how much the Cimzia will cost yet. I also found out yesterday that for the IRS stuff for medical bills went from being 7.5% of your adjusted gross income to 10%. Which to me is a load of bullshit. It would be nice to get some money back but who knows if I will qualify now.

I decided to join a book club this week. They meet once a month to discuss the book for that month. I’m pretty excited about it. I’m looking forward to meeting new people and possibly making some new friends. I hope it works out well!


“It’s a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier healthier life. As children we are told to smile, be cheerful, and put on a happy face. As adults we are told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Your hope can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It’s in these moments, when you just want to get real, drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self.” ~Grey’s Anatomy

8 thoughts on “Fatigue, Medical Bills & Book Club

  1. Yeah, people need plugs! (And no, that’s not sexual innuendo.) I’d love to find something, anything that can lift the fatigue.

    It is unfair, all this chronic illness shit (literal and metaphorical) that we have to deal with. You didn’t do anything to deserve it, but you have to deal with it for the rest of your life.

    I don’t know if this will resonate with you, but when I get upset about the unfairness of it, I always end up thinking of this one line from Babylon 5, because of course my philosophies of life come from science fiction. “You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.”

      1. I like it too, the quote! Lol

        Ya ditto on the fatigue. Sorry you have to deal with all this but glad you are still marching on despite the fatigue and other symptoms and have joined a bookclub! It’s on my ‘to do’ list, that or a knitting circle. Just something to get me out of the house a bit more and meet new friends. Have fun! Let us know which book you are reading.

        1. I run/teach a knitting group, and we often end up discussing books too. Of course, we also discuss the size of wild boars in eastern Europe and the private life of Richard Nixon. We’re weirdos.

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