Those three words seem innocent enough don’t they? It may seem like a nice thing to say to someone when they’re feeling down and depressed but I don’t see it that way. I don’t like it when people tell me to be positive when I’m having a rough time. Or feel depressed. It makes me feel like my emotions don’t matter. It’s belittling.
What I feel matters. What I’m going through matters. It’s hard to always have a positive attitude. Do you think I want to be depressed and negative? It’s not something I enjoy. It’s something that’s super easy for you to say. But it’s a hell of a lot harder for me to act on all the time.
I’d like to see you be positive all the time when you’re shitting blood 10 times a day. When you’re in so much pain all you want to do is scream your lungs out. When another medication has failed. When you have to go in for another colonoscopy. I’d like you to go through that and have a positive outlook and positive attitude all the time for a disease that is incurable.
So, the next time you’re thinking about telling someone with a chronic disease to “Just be positive,” please think twice. It would be kinder to just listen to that person rant and rave about what’s going on. Or tell then you’ll pray for them or ask what you can do to help. Just don’t tell us to “Be positive.”
Reblogged this on Just A Free Bird and commented:
Ahhh this is so true!! It kills me when people tell me to be positive or just adopt. They have absolutely no clue. I’d rather go through the motions and feel it than to pretend that everything is perfect and that it’s going to be ok. You can’t get through something unless you face it head on, being positive isn’t realistic when you know what your real outcome is. So frustrating!
I’m always tempted to say, “This IS me being positive. Having a chronic illness and no positivity generates suicidal tendencies. So if I’m just sad and not riddled with murderous/suicidal thoughts, just know that it’s the equivalent of a rainbow stuffed with My Little Ponies on uppers.”
I’m always tempted to say, “This IS me being positive. Being chronically ill without any positivity would mean suicidality. So any day that I’m not completely riddled with murderous/self-harming thoughts is the equivalent of being a rainbow stuffed with My Little Ponies on uppers.”
Right? We also have days where we just need to get all of the negativity out!